Sunday, May 14, 2017

Sunday was fun.

Having a relaxed Sunday is blessing for me.

My mother had her NTS test in St. Patrick's College, Saddar. I did my Intermediate (high school) from there in 2005. After passing out, I never got the chance to re-visit it. When my mom told me about her test center, I decided to go with her. Her test timing was 2:00pm. We reached there at 1:30 pm by auto.

I was amazed to see how well managed and decent it turned out after  going back to the missionary management. At my time it was under government. Its condition was so worst. I am glad they took it back from the government.

But somehow it was still my collage. It still had same calmness, peace and serenity I used to feel on 2005. Meanwhile waiting for her, I read the novel.

Due to the test, there was strict security. Two cops deployed. They were not even letting us go in the building. Clicking wasn't that possible. I somehow managed to click few pics.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

It is just a city. Get over it.

It is all my fault, actually. 

I listen and let people say their monkey shit. 

Today, someone from one specific race, double my age, with Phd degree from abroad, who I am damn sure doesn't even have the domicile of Karachi was telling me this is not my city. The tone was ugly. The more I was smiling, tolerating, and letting go, the more he was getting uglier. This much hate for Urdus and Muslims? 


I am Karachi born. I live here. This is not my city because I am Muslim by faith, Indian origin and my primary language is Urdu? This is the first time I heard such monkey shit. Actually, it was his hate which was over flowing. According to him, Urdu speaking peeps are less in numbers and just confined to few areas of Karachi. I was like, what do I do if we are less in numbers? If you are so smart, take over Karachi. Why are you telling me about your inferiority complex? Am I MQM? That political party is my fault?

 And listen this joke: All the development work in this city is done by his race/people. I couldn't stop laughing my ass off at that claim. 

FYI, all the development in this city is done by the Britishers. After that you did nothing. Be thankful to Indian Muslim immigrants who were bit educated and contributed to this city. And if your home town/province/ city/ is that good, then why don't you go back? Why wasting time in Karachi?

 Why chewing my brain? 

There is a legit reason why these people and their cities are no where in the map. This is their inferiority complex. Another fyi: Condition of your people is worst. They are confined to Light house and Garden. Their education level is low. Worry about them rather than me, my race and my primary language.

 My people and I have moved on long ago. Karachi is not mine. It is just a city. Get over it. Everyone from Pakistan is living here. Urdu is not a race. It is a language for the purpose of communication. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

A lot to do.

Everyday Karachi.

These pics are from Dalmia area, Karachi. It is an interesting place to shoot. All I need some free time. Shooting after work is difficult. I am extremely exhausted. Don't wanna complain but there is some discomforts in the environment which has cramp my style. An other reason could be that we females are not used to go out. Therefore, it is a struggle for me. Everyone don't even understand what I am doing. But I am still doing it: Going out alone. Shooting Karachi everyday is my goal. 

Enjoy the pics and good night.  

Sunday, May 7, 2017

With age I am doing more foolish things.

I left the comment on Financial Times's  On Air, Facebook live show/video. Topic was "Do we get wiser as we get older?"Columnist Lucy Kellaway  was the guest. And she doesn't think we do  !!!

Wisdom comes from having experience and knowledge. Wise people are good judge. They have patience and tolerance. They adjust well. They don't decide in hurry. They learn their lessons from their mistakes.  When I, on the other hand doing more foolish things and getting confessed as I am getting older. Repeating the same mistakes. Giving chances with hope.

Therefore, my comment was, "With age, I am doing more foolish things." She replied to my comment by saying we do foolish things due to fear. She is so right. I react because I do get scared. My experience is less. Knowledge is limited. I take ages to learn, trust and adjust. Like I have been saying my dealing is based on reaction and emotions. This realization is hurting me. Life needs to be sort out. 

Every time I forget that patience is the key. Everything takes time. There is no need to worry much. We all will remain same. There is NO NEED to react. 

Monday, May 1, 2017

Are we really there for each other even for a talk?

Reality is that "friend" is a big word. Neither everyone we meet can be our friends, nor we can be everyone's friend. Asking others for  such commitment or having that illusion is wrong at first place.  That is one of the reasons why even researches like this says: Our friends are not our friends. 

Forget friendships.

But are not we humans?

Do not we need each others?

Harvard's Grant and Glueck study of 75 years says  that the secrete of fulfilled life is having good relationships. They keep us happier.

By relationships, they mean relationship with other human fellow. Having a proper relationship is quite a work. It requires patience, kindness and generosity. Therefore, my question is: Are we here for each other other regardless that person is our friend or not even for a talk?

Everyone can't be lucky to have good relationship due to so many reasons. This does or shouldn't mean we left them alone. Reaching out to others can change ones life.

Actually, we have made closed groups. We have decide these so called people are our only people (read: friends), rest are others. Meeting new people and inviting them into the inner circle doesn't occur to us. Like, I said it's a work. No one have this much time for others. People have spread their-selves so thin that reaching out looks like  a hurdle. And who cares if someone is depressed, worried, broken, or having anxiety !

We are happy, our friends are happy. That's it. Why involve with others, and their lives?

This is actually a very cruel behavior.

Every day, I try to meet people. Listening them don't waste my time, My doors are open even if they are work. My personality is not group type either. Yes, few good friends are real, but as we grow, we meet new people, we need them more than they need us: For talk, for fun, for someone to help us. Old friends have made their place in our lives. New one will make their own. It is not a betray.

Like Christopher McCandless said, " Happiness is only real when shared."

Saturday, April 15, 2017

I ruined it as usual.

My problem is my stubborn personality. I have created a different world insode my head. Reality is so different. It seems like I am in conflict all the time with every other thing. This need to go. No one is my enemy. Compromising to adjust if it is not harming is a key to have peace.

Duh !

I just say that. When anger hits me I am a like a live grenade. It's getting worst. Maybe my emotinal needs are too much and they are somehow unable to be fulfilled. It then frustrate me to at such degree that I don't realize for a sec what I am doing. All people around me are so at peace. They are less demanding. Their lives are on right track.

It is always up to us to react. My unfulfilled needs are not other people's problem. Then I complain and explain. It makes matter worst.

Recently, I did somethingstupid again. It is 3 thing in a row btw.

He was doing it for me and it was making him so happy. You should have seen his face. And guess what...I ruined it. 

Yes !

I runied all his effort and happiness. It is my hormones or in build craziness, I dunno. Should I stop eating eggs ? It is so hot these days, maybe it is adding up in my anger? 

Whatever I did was total crap. It was so unnecessary. This is my everyday ritual. At the age of 31, I am unable to have a decent relationship. There is definitely something crazy in me.

This is no way to behave.

I took few pics on my way to home from work.